Thursday 13 August 2015

It continues............

Last night As I wrote my first post on my very first Blog, I was not sure if I was ready for this, to fully disclose my journey, my life for the world to read!  Because for a very long time this was my secret.  A secret that I only shared within the boundaries of my control!  Always careful to not stick out or bring attention to myself... To be honest it was a lot more scary to open this door, then dealing with people that have passed  or spirits needing direction, but after today and the amazing love of the people who took the time to read it, I truly know from the bottom of my heart that this is part of my duty and yes my destiny!!! For what is a life if not shared honestly in its entirety!  So I thank-you all for the warm and heartfelt messages of encouragement.....bless you!!

And so it continues.............

As a child of 7 years old, I realized very quickly that this was NOT the norm!  These "See true figures"continued to make an L shape around my bed!!!  Sometimes there was 3 but most time it was 6 or 7 of THEM! 
I was in my twin bed knowing they would come and I felt helpless! So I found a way to feel some kind of security!  I would get in bed which was next to the wall with my sisters bed along side mine and I would wait a few minutes and then I would yell for my dad, he would come and I would say that my legs hurt.  You see if he was in the room they would not come and I would beg my dad to rub my legs and pray I would fall asleep before he was done.  And there were times I actually did fall asleep but most time I didn't and he would tuck me in and leave!  

I usually FELT THEM before I saw THEM so I would wait till my sister was asleep and carry her to my bed, putting her on the outside with me tucked safe against the wall!!!  Hoping and praying that they would take her instead of me!!! Obviously THEY never did, I know....not very sisterly on my part but you have to understand she NEVER saw them or felt anything.......it was just me!  I heard that buzzing sound and saw them...  So I did what I had to do to survive...
this continued for several years......
And only Until our later years as adults did she realize she never walked in her sleep as a child, because that's what I always told her!! She slept like a rock and I would pull her out of her bed laying her next to me and she had no clue..... 

The day that things finally made sense was on a cold winters day.  I remember it so well because I was outside alone, the snow was glistening in the late afternoon sun, my breath was making foggy mist in front of me and my Granny Tracy saw me and called me in!  You see God, or the Universe what ever you want to call it knew that I would need not only loving grandparents but they were my Godparents as well! 
There house was next door to ours so going to my grannies was a daily occurrence but this time was different, some how she knew and I felt it!  
Sitting at the kitchen table, my granny Took my hand and said words that will forever hold me in a warm safe blanket of love!  She said "I know, I know you see them but so do I"!  I lost it and cried from the depth of my soul and she held me for what seemed like hours whispering "it's ok now, your not alone anymore"! At that moment everything in me changed! 
Never let anyone tell you that there isn't strength in numbers.... 
I was not alone!!! I was not alone!!! I was not alone!!! Oh how I treasured those words.....
My life changed that day, my secret was finally out and my granny understood....and because of her and her gentle loving faith filled soul my journey took a turn, one that would give me the tools I needed to live with this...
My granny was a gift, one I to this day will treasure forever....... 
She kept my secret but our time together was never to be the same because under her wing I was able to finally see how I could help Them.....
But that's another part of my story to which I will continue tomorrow........

Blessings to you all
Kelley



1 comment:

  1. We all struggle with something or other at some point in our lives and we keep it inside because we think we are the only ones. We are never the only ones. And we are never alone. But life can be a struggle until we find that out. Thanks for sharing.

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